You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
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