sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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