Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
