I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
