I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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