just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
