i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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