If i come over, it means nothing
wanna go halves on a baby?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
