I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
