so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
