He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
