when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
