I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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