Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
