Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
