There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
