K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
