can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
