i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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