Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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