Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize