You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Houston, we have a blender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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