I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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