We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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