y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
