We won't sleep together?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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