He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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