My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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