flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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