Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
