well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize