3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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