You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize