note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
