Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize