i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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