I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
