nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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