I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"