Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My dick has a subreddit
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
