we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
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He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
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All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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