Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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