so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
