It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
