i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
