is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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