It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
it hurts more in the daytime
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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