your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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