Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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