How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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