reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
