At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
