when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
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So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
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P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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