There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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