i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
