Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
