so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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