at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize