How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
