3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
