One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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