I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize