I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
