I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
