I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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