Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
