she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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